Love from home...

Greetings from Jo-Berg! I've had such full weeks since we've last chatted, I don't think I'll be able to even begin to fit all that's happened in my July posting. It has been wonderfully busy (I know I ALWAYS say that, but it's true) with 8 new babies, saying hello and goodbye to the dearest of friends, being apart of handing 6 babies over to their forever families, doctors visits, one hospital run and a much needed/anticipated holiday in Cape Town.

Perhaps the best way to attempt to cover the details is to use pictures to help guide our way!

Here are some of the highlights:

Probably the biggest and best highlight of all was having my very first visitors from home: Allison Auser and Megan Updegraff. They brought with them beautiful fellowship, wonderful updates from home and a special surprise: gifts, cards and love from home for me and my little babies! Thank you to everyone who sent the wonderful gifts and cards from my home in CA! They are much appreciated and will be put to good use (and many already have)! The most needed gift was a new charger for my MacBook (thank you Marilyn!) because my old one died and I had been using Beth's but as you'll read later on she is now back in the US). One amazing gift was a handcrafted quilt made my Martha Howden and 4 of her quilting buddies that is made up of wonderfully patterned fabrics and all of my old youth group t-shirts. It is quite possibly one of the most beautiful gifts I've ever received! I'll take a picture of it and post it soon...

The Sunday before the girls arrived we had a group baby dedication at Berea Baptist Church. I had the honor of holding my precious Jackson as Pastor Stanely and Pastor Cheryl prayed over him and dedicated him to the Lord. He smiled and basked in the attention as the Pastors prayed over him and the other 12 babies who joined him up front. I am so honored to be apart of this little man's life and I cannot wait until that day in eternity when we will have the privilege of looking over the whole of his life and all of the ways that God rescued him to bring Himself glory!

Part of the medical workup we do for our preemie babies include cranial sonars, eye tests and ear tests. We did all three for some of our littles this past month. The picture above is me and little baby "L" as we wait for her turn with the eye doctor. Thankfully her eyes are perfect which is a miracle considering this little one was born at 26 weeks!

We've had the privilege of handing over 6 babies to their forever families since I've blogged last. This little girl was one of our babies at BH2 and she is such a perfect fit for her family. One of the most exciting parts of handing over a baby is getting to see how well the Father does at matching these babies with their families. More often that not you can see the connection and similarities in personality, family set-up and even physical similarities right off the bat. This little girl looked just like her European papa and she felt right at home in his arms!

Here is another picture from one of our placements. This is my roommate Lisa with the little dude that she named the day that I left the US to fly here. He was one of our fussiest little men when he was a small baby but he blossomed into a beautiful, sensitive and happy fellow. To be honest, he was one of my very favorites and I have to admit that I got a little teary eyed handing him to his new mommy. His family was so precious, with an older adopted sister and a parents who were creative and oh so stylish...the perfect fit for his sensitive soul and temperament! Allison and Megan got to be with us on this day which also made it extra special!
We often get calls to come and get preemies that are ready for discharge much sooner than premature babies would ever be release in the US. We picked up a little baby who was born at 26 weeks and we were picking her up at 3 weeks old! She was (and still is) one of the tiniest babies I've ever held. We got to the hospital, Beth and I donned on the white hairnets and were led to her incubator where she was laying in just a diaper. The sister changed her and then placed her in my arms, I quickly dressed her in a snuggly, we grabbed some paperwork and we were off! She was so tiny (under 4lbs) that she spent the first 2 weeks with us kangarooed skin-to-skin with an Auntie 24/7. She is doing beautifully, is gaining weight and just perfect.

My sister Emily is pregnant with my 4th nephew and he and baby "R" are approximately the same age! However he is all warm and growing in Emily while she is out and about. She is such a miracle and a testimony to what can be accomplished when our Father wills something (or someone) to be. Every time I look at this little doll I marvel at the work of His hand and I am reminded that nothing is impossible for our God!

I made a new friend! Well, Beth shared her hilarious and kind friend Brooke with us. Brooke flew out to help Beth move back home and we were able to enjoy her company while we kicked the festivities into high gear as we said goodbye to Beth. Brooke loves our babies here at DOH...Jackson obviously loved her!

As a Staff Goodbye to Beth a group of us went up to a cute little area called Hartbeespoort Dam, we did some shopping, walked across the dam, enjoyed lunch and had a fun time hanging out together celebrating Beth and the contribution she's made to Door of Hope these past 2 and half years. This is our happy crew at a tiny little church in Hartbeespoort.

We decided that since our real Christmas celebration this year was rather anticlimactic we decided to go all out and celebrate with a Christmas-in-July dinner and party. We all made our favorite Christmas food, invited our friends over to watch Elf, opened presents and stockings and had a fabulous time together. This Christmas decoration was donated by one of the little boys who lives downstairs...you can't really tell from the picture but it only has one eye which made me laugh every time I saw it!

We also found the best Mexican restaurant to help usher Beth back to the US. It was the most authentic place we've located thus far...complete with yummy margs and chips even though the salsa was a little weird (who puts curry spice in salsa? Oh wait, South Africans do!).

And then faster than I could imagine or was prepared for, Beth and Brooke were off. It was such a pleasure to get to know, love and serve alongside such beautiful women of God. I've missed Beth every day since she's been home and I've emailed her tons of questions and probably will for some time! I think she's ready for it...haha!

Allison, Lisa, Megan, Corrine and I were able to spend a relaxing and sunny week in Cape Town. We had a marvelous time enjoying beautiful Cape Town enjoying the perfect mix of sightseeing, resting, sleeping in and watching the sunset on the very tip of the African Continent. Here is us on our first day on the top of Table Mountain.

We drove to the Cape Point and spent a day enjoying those sights, including a bunch of the cutest penguins ever! The penguins were quite possibly Megan's favorite part of our trip!

I adore the beach and could spend hours upon hours with my feet in the waves getting lost in the sounds and sights of such powerful beauty. The beaches we visited were made even more spectacular with Table Mountain as a backdrop!

Here we are at the Cape of Good Hope...we had the most beautiful weather. Everyone warned us that Cape Town weather this time of year was rainy and temperamental but we had sunshine everyday! Not one drop of rain...in fact we all packed warm clothes and were wishing for short sleeves and carpi's.

I am so blessed to have the people in my life that I do. One of the craziest part of this adventure is the bittersweet mix of hellos and goodbyes. Life lived in intense community all the while fighting insatiable loneliness, enjoying all that make Jo-berg so unique while missing the comforts of the US and the love of the people I miss and love who don't currently reside on this continent. Today in church I felt the Spirit reminding that the cost of discipleship is great but that He is worth any cost. That bringing Christ glory and being obedient to the call that He's placed on this season of my life is what matters most but that my High Priest knows much better than I the pain of sacrifice. And that He is patient with me in my weaknesses and that He has promised to give me everything that I need for life and godliness here in Jo-berg...and I'm grateful.

I am truthfully loving my life here in Jo-berg serving here at DOH. Please be praying for me as I continue to seek the Lord's will for the future and as I serve as the Children's Care Manager. We have a few babies and Aunties who are sick so please be praying for healing and containment of the stomach bug and strep throat that has afflicted a few. Please pray that our smallest ones will grow strong and thrive in our care. We have 3 more handovers tomorrow morning, pray that those would go smoothly. Please pray that the Lord would continue to provide for me financially and that our needs at DOH would be met according the will of our Father. I miss you and love you and praise our Jesus for your love and support!

XOXOXOXOXO from me and my babies!

Swimming in the deep end!

Hi friends!

Whew! Life has been SO busy and full for me since I blogged last! We've received 5 babies in the past 3 weeks and we have quite a few that we are getting ready to meet their forever families in the next few weeks ahead. I am still in training with Beth for one more official day and then on the 20th I step in to her ginormous (figuratively speaking, of course) shoes as Children's Director for Door of Hope. Beth, Sara (our new Social Worker) and I have been buzzing around town trying to meet all of Beth's connections, learn new skills and decipher sometimes sticky protocol. I've had the chance to do a few of the medical runs that I'd not yet had the chance to walk through and I'm trying to soak up all the info from Beth that I can. I swear that girl can spout off the names of people, medications, towns and procedures faster than my pen can write down sometimes. I know I have TONS to learn but come Monday I'll be swimming in the deep end.

I recently downloaded one of Amy Carmichael's devotional books entitled "I Come Quietly to Meet You" and it has been such a refreshing piece of encouragement for me. The last few weeks have been so full that I've felt a bit dried out and slightly spread thin. Yesterday's entry reminded me that my Father never rebukes me for being wounded by weariness or fear or anything else! Instead His Word reminds my heart again and again that He is near, He is able and He will be present for me to lean upon, even when I'm wiped out and weary. I pray that you will rest upon His strength today and be refreshed with hope and joy.

Thank you for your prayers for me and our babies here at DOH. Thanks to the mercy of our Father everyone has been well and thus far winter has been kind to us as far as illness goes. Please be praying that we are supernaturally protected from illness this winter and that we don't have to have any babies admitted to the hospital. Please pray that I would have supernatural anointing as I step into this new role as Children's Director. I'm praying that I will be attentive to the Holy Spirit as I care for the 37 littles in my care. That I will have a mother's heart and knowledge about each one and for each of their needs. Pray that I will have wisdom beyond my years and experience as I seek to care for them when they are sick or hurting. That I will be able to juggle all of the administrative details with skill and the ability to put my relationships with Jesus, the Aunties, Volunteers, Staff and babies first. Above all else, please pray that I will do all of these things in the Father's strength and not my own, bringing His name glory above all other things!

In other, very exciting non-baby related news: my dear friends Allison and Megan will soon be making the journey across the sea to come and visit me! I am beyond excited to have them here and show them all that my last few months of life have included. Please pray that their journey here is safe and our time will be perfectly balanced with babies, sightseeing, work and fun! I'm sure to have bunches of pictures to show you come the end of July! Thank you for all of your love, prayers, support and encouragement as I serve here at DOH. I miss you more than words can say!!! Love you much! Here are some fun pics for you to enjoy:

It's been getting pretty chilly here in Jo-berg, so this is how I spend the last few minutes before I hop into bed...

My biggest Starfish hanging out in the garden play area, rocking some sunglasses from a birthday party we had earlier that day

Posing with our tinniest flower in our Small Baby garden at BH1

Part of my job is to take pictures for our adoption agency to help them match our babies with their forever families. Most photo shoots have about 30 pictures that look like this one and 4 or 5 redeemable ones. I never knew taking good pictures of littles was so difficult!

Here is a fun pic of me and my roomies out on the town for dinner. We were looking for karaoke but the pub where it used to be at is now the home of a really cool, unfortunately karaoke-free bookstore!

One of our bigger new arrivals, sleeping soundly...

Our tiniest new arrival, sleeping happily...

...after I made her furious when I had the audacity to weigh, measure and bathe her during her admission process! She is feisty for someone so tiny!

Me cuddling my Jackson. Seriously, he is the biggest 4 month old, ever!

Me and Mr. P during his admission...but don't be fooled he's got a set of pipes, too! P.S. can you see the new scar I'm sporting near my thumb? I love using my hot water bottle but it can come at a price! I burnt myself about 5 weeks ago and that's my little reminder to be careful when filling one up...

And the adventure continues...

Hi sweet friends and family!

We are officially in FALL here in Josie! I think fall is my favorite season. I love the leaves turning, the chill in the evening air and crisp mornings that begin to warm as soon as the sun is up. I’m sure I am in for a cold winter here seeing as none of our homes have central heating. I’ve purchased my first official hot water bottle and now spend my nights cuddling my new “hottie” (that’s what my roommate Jess calls hers and I think it is just so cute and hysterical).

I’ve been driving around for the last few weeks with an expired license tag in my car due to some crazy, complicated “this is Africa” stuff that was outside of my control. The sweet family that I purchased Stanley from were able to step in and help me arrange the purchase of a new tag and took care of some things on Stanley that were malfunctioning (which was a huge blessing). On Wednesday of last week we were going to arrange to pick up Stanley but due to life I ended up just working from home, which was fine, but I was frustrated that I wasn’t going to be able to get in and see my babies and Aunties. I spent the day working on work all the while working on convincing myself to trust the Lord, to have a happy attitude and be flexible. By the afternoon I began to feel a little “something” in my throat and by that night I was sporting a high fever and full out Strep Throat. Thankfully I had antibiotics on hand and long story short after a few days of fever, chills and an incredibly nasty looking throat I am now feeling almost 100%. It was a great reminder for me that sometimes what I take as interference from what I have planned is actually God’s provision and protection. I believe He had me home all by lonesome on Wednesday so I didn’t expose those I loved to such an icky bug. It was just another practical lesson on this adventure of trusting and obeying.

Speaking of which, this week has brought about some new news about my ever-evolving role here at Door of Hope. Firstly, Lindsay (the Baby Home Manager for Baby House 1 in Glenvista) is back in the States for the next 6 weeks or so and while she is away our Director has asked me to oversee Baby House 1 which currently houses 3 Small Babies, 11 Big Babies and 8 Starfish kiddos. Francinah who had been acting as my Assistant at Baby House 2 has moved into the role of Baby Home Manager of Baby House 2 and will now be overseeing those precious babies and Aunties. I am excited about the new challenge of getting to renew relationship with BH1 Aunties, and volunteers and learning about these babies that were once my smallest ones when I was acting as Small Baby Supervisor at the end of last year. Total pluses: no crazy commute, working with international volunteers and preemies again. Total minuses: Not getting to kiss my Jackson every day, missing “my” BH2 Aunties and the thrill of watching the sunrise on my ride into work. I think I’m going to actually miss regular 5am mornings, sipping coffee in a still sleeping house, driving to work with the sunrise as a backdrop but most of all I’m going to miss waking Jackson up in the mornings. I love being the first thing that he sees after a night’s sleep. I know it sounds silly, but getting to collect his day’s first smiles is one of the things that make me feel like he is really mine. I am hoping to still get there once or twice a week but I know it’s going to be different. In all honesty, I’ve been really sad about it all the while knowing that it’s best for DOH as a whole.

There are babies that I love at BH1, including the 3 new babies we got this week! Baby boy came on Monday after a referral from the hospital. On Tuesday Beth and I went and fetched a 4 month old little baby girl referred from a home up North and on our way back we got word about a newborn baby girl found by the police who was so new she was still covered in afterbirth with her cord unclamped. She came home today and they are all doing well and adjusting to being our new wave of Small Babies. I also get to spend time reconnecting with some of favorite “small babies” that are no longer small but so very cute and grown up. It’s wild how much a baby can change in just a few short months!

Secondly, Beth, our Children’s Manager is going to be leaving Door of Hope to return home to the States to get her nursing degree this July. Our Director has asked me to step into Beth’s position as Children’s Manager when she departs, and I've said I would! The Children’s Manager is responsible for overseeing the care of each child that enters our care, from admission to adoption. I’m not even really sure what all of that really entails but some of the fun stuff that I will be doing is fetching babies from all of Jo-berg to be ours, handing over babies to meet their forever families, organizing and delegating all of our medical appointments with our pediatrician and with the hospitals we work with, working with our Social Worker to get all of our babies “adoption ready” and assessing each of our children’s overall health and well-being. Suddenly I feel like the old woman in the shoe! In complete honesty, right now I feel overwhelmed and unsure as to how I’ll ever be ready by the time Beth leaves. I guess the truth of the matter is that I won’t be ready come July 1st but our Father will be! I know that I’m going to have gads of moments where His strength is made shiningly perfect in my utter weakness and THAT I’m ready for!

I’m sure that the next few weeks are going to just fly by! Please join me in praying that our Father will give me the divine wisdom I need to love on BH1 in these next few weeks all the while training with Beth as much as possible. Please pray that the Lord will guard my heart, mind and health and I enter a time of top speed training and shepherding. Thank you for being invested in what our Savior is doing in this little part of the world…and in my life! I miss CA very much but I feel more confident than ever that “for such a time as this” I’ve been called here to Door of Hope and to loving on the least of these in Josie. I love you! Thank you for your continued prayers and support!

Here are some fun recent pics….

One of our little guys celebrated his first birthday this week!

A picture of Auntie Lucy and the little girl she named, almost 4 months ago!

Me and one of our newbies at BH2!

A random friend I met picking up meds at the HIV clinic, she came over and sat on my lap!

Jackson is a friendly guy, he even makes friends with the difficult kind of animals...haha!

Me and my Jack-Jack! I just can't get enough of his sweet smiles and "conversation"

Jess got to name one of the baby girls that came to BH2 a few weeks ago and here they are!

Easter week goodbyes and hellos...

I pray that each of you had a wonderful Easter week remembering and celebrating the death and resurrection of our precious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I was able to celebrate Easter weekend with Jackson by my side which was an added special blessing and treat...much sweeter than Cadbury Mini Eggs which incidentally are my favorite Easter candy and YES we were finally able to track down a bag or ten! This past week has held many opportunities to remember Jesus and thank Him for the deep love and provision His sacrifice on the Cross proved and purchased for the world.

First the bittersweet start of the week:

Last Tuesday morning our Sovereign Father saw fit to come and fetch one of our babies and take her home. She was one of our Starfish babies, a two year old with cerebral palsy who peacefully died in her sleep tucked cozily in her bed. She came to Door of Hope a few months before she reached her 1st birthday and while she lived with us she overcame many illnesses and learned how to do what the Doctors thought impossible for her disabilities: she learned to smile! Thankfully Beth, Lisa and I were already on our way to Baby House 1 that morning and Beth was able to say goodbye to her baby while her little body was still warm. It's a horribly sad thing to watch people say goodbye to their baby and that is just one of the dark parts that sad day included. It's not easy going into those deep areas of death and grief, loving babies so deeply that it physically hurts when you have to say goodbye. Later that day Beth and I had to go to the Mortuary of the Johannesburg Hospital to get the paperwork that we needed to procure a Death Certificate for our baby. As we turned the corner to enter the Mortuary, two orderlies wheeled the wrapped up body of dead man directly into the path before us. We had to follow them into the dingy, dark halls of the Mortuary to the Office we needed and I'm am telling you it was rough. I witnessed many things that day that I never want to have to again... praying as a family around a little body covered in her pink flowery fleece blanket, watching the body of stranger pushed passed by a grieving family in the Mortuary waiting room praying that they were not the family that it belonged to, hearing the wails of Aunties who loved this baby of like their own.

Auntie Stephanie saying goodbye

As I processed that dark yet bittersweet day I felt even more convinced of the call of this season of my life: saying "Lord, please let me not have to go to those places again!" all the while being completely certain that I will follow Him into those dark yet holy places when I have to because that's where He is. And I want to be where He is, doing what He's called me to do. I am I'm grateful to have had the privilege of knowing our precious little one for the time that I did and I know all of the Aunties count themselves blessed to have known her and loved her for as long as the Lord allowed. We celebrated her brave life yesterday in the Memorial Garden with the sun breaking through the clouds as we remembered the little girl who could do so little but accomplished so much in the hearts of those who knew her. Thankfully Auntie Stephanie (who spent 7 years at Door of Hope and who first introduced us to this Starfish) is visiting from Canada, so she and Beth were able to lead the sweet service. One of the songs shared was Phil Wickham's "Heaven Song" where he sings: "I want to run on greener pastures/I want to dance on higher hills/I want to drink from sweeter waters/In the misty morning chill/And my soul is getting restless for the place where I belong/I can't wait to join the angels and sing my heaven song". As sad as were are to say goodbye to our girl, she now freer than she ever was in this life and I can't wait to see her dance and run with our Jesus someday! Please be praying for our Door of Hope family as we miss her sweet presence in our home.

Auntie Stephanie and Auntie Beth led the Memorial Service

Whew! Wipe your eyes and take a breath because here come the bright spots:

My biggest boy at Baby House 2 celebrated his first birthday this week! I made chocolate cupcakes with vanilla frosting, he sported a birthday party hat, we sang him his first birthday song while he took it all in with sly, shy smiles and a slight disinterest in the cupcake I served him. Prayerfully he will be going to his forever family next month! We had a wonderful time celebrating and thanking Jesus for his first year of life.

Auntie Marceline teaching him to hold up one finger when asked "How old are you?"

As I mentioned before I was able to spend Easter weekend with Jackson by my side! I picked him up on Saturday morning and he was with me until I brought him back to his Aunties on Monday morning. Let me tell you, there is nothing sweeter than waking up to this little smile:

I bought him the cutest Easter outfit which included a cozy, grey sweater with a guitar on it because he is my little star! Jackson is so very vocal these days, talking and singing all the time (just like a typical Gillette, haha!) and giving the occasional really good giggle. I've been trying out a new church, Riverside Community, and Jackson joined me for their Easter morning service. He did such a great job, enjoyed the music and greeted lots of people with wide smiles. It was fun being his "mommy" for the day and he was the perfect little man.

Here we are on Easter day!

Jackson is doing so well! He is healthy, loves to eat, sleeps well and is tipping the scales just over 13 pounds! It was so wonderful to spend the weekend with him, he really is a sweet natured, easy going baby who offers a ready smile to any one who will stop and greet him!

His cute, not so little bootie! Talk about blackmail photos for when he's a teenager!

On our way back to Baby House 2 on Monday, I received a call from Auntie Marceline saying that there was a mom who wanted to speak with someone about her newborn baby girl. When I got to the baby house I got to meet and counsel with this young mother about the options for her baby if she felt like she couldn't care for her on her own. After talking through the options this mom decided that she wanted to give her baby up for adoption. I had her fill out the right paperwork, prayed with her and she left with her baby in my arms. There was this silent, holy moment between Auntie Sarah and myself as we unwrapped the blankets and got to look at this brand new little one that somehow bore the all the grief and sweet joy of her abandonment. What a heavy grief for a mother to choose to say goodbye to the baby she birthed and the extreme joy that we get to have her for our own. The Aunties and I then gathered around her to welcome her into our home, praying for her and marveling over all of her newness together. I imagine it is a tiny bit like what a new mom feels like, unwrapping this little present of a person, examining all her little fingers, toes and features for the very first time. I did all the official checking in, bathed her and wrapped her tight in fresh new blankets and clothes then I got to hold her close and whisper the truth into her little ear: "Welcome home beautiful baby. You are beyond wanted and our God has a precious plan for your every day!" This new little addition to our family is beautiful and was born on Easter morning. I call her my Easter Lily! She is doing beautifully, is healthy and I just want to hold her all day long!

Here is my Easter Lily... wrapped up all snug and warm after her first bath!

Here we are posing for our first blog-appropriate pic!

I feel overwhelmingly thankful for Jesus and his Cross this Easter week. Because He lives I will see our little Starfish again, whole and more alive than this side of eternity ever afforded her. Because He lives I can face the dark, lonely and difficult parts of all of my tomorrows. Because He lives I have the privilege of loving on the least of these in this place. And I believe it is because He lives that each of you are in my life, joining and supporting me in this hopeful adventure! I miss you and praise Jesus for you! XOXOXOXO ~ nicolie

the puzzle pieces...

Hi friends! I pray this finds you well and enjoying something cozy today...coffee, hugs, cozy pj's, you pick! I am thinking cozy thoughts today because I am freezing here today. Everyone here kept telling me that it was going to get cold but I really didn't believe them until today. It's not sub-zero by any means only 53 degrees-ish but it's amazing how chilly you stay all day when no one has central heating! All of my babies wore snugglies all day long and I wore my blue gloves from my friend Lauri all day! Time to bust out the hot water bottles, hoodies and sweaters!

It is funny how memories work, how some remain stubbornly stuck to your mind like ugly flower wallpaper and others disappear without a trace and how you can recall something that you haven’t thought about for years in an instant. A few days ago the Lord brought to my mind a memory that I hadn’t recalled in years. When I was in High School a girl named Jenny Lin who was a Middle School student in our town was murdered afterschool in her home while her parents were still at work. It rocked our suburban town and remains an unsolved mystery to this day. Jenny was a fantastic violin player and her parents created a foundation that had the dual purpose of seeking leads into Jenny’s murder and promoting the arts in honor of her memory. My mom began volunteering with the Jenny Lin Foundation, and because of her and with us being in our school’s choirs, my siblings and I began to perform at certain Jenny Lin Foundation events. A year or two after Jenny died, the cities in our area decided to create a memorial grove of trees in memory of children, like Jenny, whose lives had been tragically cut short. Trees were planted, families and friends gathered, my sister and I sung “Amazing Grace” and we mourned lives unlived, potentials snuffed out in an instant. Hung amongst the new saplings were burgundy, hand painted flags each bearing the name of each of the children our community had lost. As the press packed up and people headed down the hill to their cars one by one the families took their children’s flags until just one remained. It was a flag remembering the brief life of a baby that had been abandoned, left to die and found too late to be saved. If my memory serves me correctly it just had the simple words “Unknown Baby” where it’s name should have gone. I had always loved babies, newborns in particular, imagining and planning even as a kindergartner that marvelous day when I would get to hold a baby of my very own. I couldn’t even begin to grasp that concept of leaving a precious baby to die and I couldn’t leave that flag hanging all alone in that park. Somehow it was like we were going to abandon that baby’s memory just like it’s mother had and I couldn’t bear it. So I took it home with me and it hung on my wall for years until I moved out of my parents house and it got lost in a box somewhere.

I’m not even sure what brought that to my mind last week but it was another layer of confirmation for me that this is part of what God designed my life for: to be a mother to babies who have been abandoned by the mothers who birthed them. I firmly believe that God has pieced each of our experiences, trials, joys, lessons and pains to create a beautifully intricate gift that we call “today”. Until we reach the other side of eternity many of the puzzle pieces will remain blurry like a Monet painting but some times we get to see a glimpse of the masterpiece God calls our lives on this side of forever. That’s what happened for me when I remembered that burgundy flag that I saw everyday for years. It’s no accident that I am here in Johannesburg spending my days loving on these precious babies. My Father had this in mind for me long, long before I heard of Door of Hope, before I ever held my first newborn or saw that burgundy flag hanging all alone in a grove of memorial trees. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to see a part of the seed that you planted in my heart on that afternoon almost 15 years ago. Thank you for the hundreds of paint strokes in my life that have brought me to this particular place of service and surrender. I am convinced that all of this is to bring the Savior glory in my life and I can’t wait to stand by His side and observe the completed canvas of my life and to marvel at the finished works of art called the lives of these babies I’m loving on today.

Here are a few quick pictures from my Baby House:

Jackson and I getting some cuddles in. I have to fight for them, he's a house favorite for sure!

Me and Jackson, side profile view...

Jackson and I posing with him in the moby wrap... check out that amazing hair!!!

This is Auntie Angela with one of our small babies...he's the youngest in the house right now but a big boy who has a healthy set of lungs. Angela has been such a blessing to me at BH2, such a kind heart who encourages me in the Lord. She's a Pastor's wife and it shows!

Hugs and Kisses... Nicolie

the news in pictures

Hi loved ones! How are you? First let me say, I miss you and think of you and praise Jesus for you all of the time. I am honored that you would take time to peek in on my adventure. Thank you for your prayers and support and emails and facebook comments. At times living here is like a dream come perfectly true and other times it can be completely distancing and lonely. Knowing that I am loved and missed holding hands with God's calling on this season of my life is what pulls me through those times, so thank you!

I thought I would base my updates around some pictures, so here goes nicolie's news in pictures:

I had the privilege of being apart of introducing two of our babies to their forever families these past few weeks. One of the little girls in our house left us two weeks ago. Their family had already adopted another little girl from South Africa, were incredibly sweet and teary-eyed and they are coming for a visit to our home tomorrow! This is the little lady a few weeks before she left us:

Last week I had my first official "handover". This is adoption speak for: "you get to literally hand the baby you've cared for and loved for however long into the arms of their parents" and it is wild! You share with the family a book you've created to help them get to know there new baby with pictures and a schedule and such. The little one I handed over was one of my itty-bitty tiny babies from Baby House 1. I was there the first day he came home to us from the hospital weighing less than 4lbs and was able to hand him to his mom for the first time. Surreal really. To see something you pray for come to reality before your very eyes. Talk about faith affirming and prayer courage building. This is my little man when he was just brand new:

We've had a lot of that this week considering today was the day that one of our longtime littles met her family for the first time today. She was one of littles who we were able to say "yes" to after so many people had said "no". I've only witnessed the last leg of her journey and let me tell you: God has a big plan for this little lady! Sickness, trial, pain or strife will never be able to extinguish the plans the Father has for His children. Beth and I got to see her this week:

One of the best/worst thing about serving at DOH is getting to meet (and then have to say goodbye to) so many precious women from all around the world. We've had to say goodbye to some of these marvelous ladies the past few weeks. Thank you girls for serving and loving so well, we miss you very much! Here is a pic of us at Monte Casino for a group goodbye night out:

Amanda (from Sweden who lived in LA for a year and sounds like a Californian) is going to get to be in San Francisco before I will. How unfair is that!!! She is leaving us on Wednesday, flys to LA and then gets to road trip it up to San Francisco. I am very jealous but she is bringing me some of my love. I am going to miss her hugs and smiles. This is us at Cafe Moyo trying to get a picture of us and a really cool lamp:

I am really enjoying living with the girls I am living with. I feel like each week we are getting to know each other better and being able to encourage and support each other in new ways. I am grateful to be able to share a room and nightly debriefing chats with Lisa. I've also LOVED the training that I've been embarking on with Beth. She is a wealth of helpful, funny and encouraging knowledge and stories. I am going to soak up everything the last 2 & 1/2 years of living in Jo-berg and working at DOH has taught here. Here are the three of us at Cafe Moyo:

Speaking of Beth, last week she brought in these adorable fabric masks and hats into Starfish. Here is one of our Starfishies looking dapper in his mask. This little King loves to dress up:

The weather has begun to turn towards fall here in Jo-berg so we've been getting the kiddos our as much as possible. Here is me and my little dude chilling in the sunshine:

Jackson. SIGH. I just love him so much!!! He is so adorable these days, talking and smiling and GIGGLING! That's right folks, Jackson has officially added giggling to his repertoire of tricks. His smile is just so precious I had a hard time finding a picture that I could actually share with you guys, you will just have to imagine the smile that takes over his whole face that goes with these chunky little legs:

I have to JET! But please know that I love you and I am praising our Jesus for each of you!

Hugs and kisses from Jo-berg!