A Fine Mingling

Welcome to this wild April!

I am always encouraged when I remember that there is no where I can go that God hasn't already been. In everything, He is there, waiting for me to meet Him. Last April very few people would have been able to predict where we find ourselves this unprecidented April of 2020. But God was already here a year ago, He was here 200 years ago. Our God exists outside our temporal understanding of time and is simultaneously every where and every time at once! But before I get too deep too fast, Hi!!! I hope that you and your family are well and safe, sheltering not only in your homes but in the peace and love that Christ offers us. 

We are safe and hunkered down here at the Village. We have been blessed with ample room and were able to offer housing (simple accommodations, to be sure) to any Auntie and her family members that would be willing to move onsite and continue caring for the babies. Amazingly, every single one of my wonderful staff members chose to move on site. Some came with family members and some family members chose to stay home and release their moms/wives to stay with us. One of my Aunties, when discussing with her children whether or not she should come stay with us or stay home with them, one of her sons said, "Mom, you have to go! I have a dad who can take care of me but you are like these babies' mom. They need you." Admittedly, I teared up on the spot! I am humbled and honored to serve alongside such wonderful women who have laid down their rights and comforts to love these precious babies. Please keep them in your prayers as they live and serve together -- I am trusting Jesus for even more growth and team bonding to be birthed after this season of sacrifice. 

I came across the quote above a week or two ago and it perfectly sums up how I am experiencing this tumultuous season we find ourselves in. I am working hard to let go of anxiety, fear and the desire to feel more in control of life while I cling as tightly as I can to the truth that I have found in Jesus Christ. I am trying to heed Paul's instructions in 2 Corinthians 10:5 and take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. To confess and set aside my worried thoughts about what tomorrow may contain and focus on the good that God has set before me today. Each day surely has enough trouble, joy, peace, mercies and tasks of its own -- especially if you are helping to care for a gaggle of kiddos like I get to! As my heart begins to sink when I hear the stories of lost lives, overworked health systems and staff and the injustices highlighted by COVID-19 I am working to remind myself of who Jesus is and what only He can do. He can and will use what Satan has meant for evil for His glory and our good. I started the week immersed in melancholy, missing my family and community in California in an intense way and generally despondent about my life and the state of our hurting world. But as I have kept my eyes on things above I have found myself on a steady, albeit slow climb, into happy heartedness and joy. I pray the same for you, dear ones. May we hold tightly onto Jesus, His Word and His love and release the things we were never really in control of in the first place! 

I am excited for and hopefully anticipating all the stories of God's faithfulness, goodness and provision that this season of life is producing in and through your lives. Thank you for praying for me and the precious people here at LIV Lanseria. Please let me know if there is any specific what I can be praying for you -- my nights and weekend are currently wide open! 

Love you so ~ Nicole and all the babies at El Roi 

The Greatest Thing

Happy March! 

As things usually go, I've blinked and February has flown by... even with the added bonus of an extra day! February brought to us our very first baby of 2020. A precious newborn baby girl was placed in our safe early in February and for the past few weeks she has been the center focus of my busy days and l-o-n-g nights. She came to us fairly frantic and it was a particularly loud first few days but by the grace of God, little Miss R, seems to be settling in. We think she is going to have MANY words and have fairly intense feelings but she is eating well and her happy moments are elongating and increasing daily. I hope to transition her into the home over the next week or so. 

I know Valentine's Day was a few weeks ago now but we took some really adorable photos that I couldn't help but share. Parenting these precious people has introduced me to a kind of learning about love that I hadn't experienced before stepping into this calling. This kind of learning has bent, broken, scarred  and bettered me far more than words can tell. I am sure most who have parented someone else can say the same. To love someone is to give them the power to injure you. Yet the pain of parenting is marked with such treasure and such joy that makes it worthy of the pain. I am so grateful for the opportunity to love these precious, wild and priceless souls. Despite the fact that, Lord willing, they will leave me one day to find love in a Forever Family. 

One of the questions I am most frequently asked is, "Do you have any children of your own?". No, I don't have any biological children nor think that i ever will  have any babies I get to keep. But truthfully, I can't fathom these kiddos being any more "my own" than a biological child would. I would just get to keep them a bit longer (the Lord would have to really help know how to parent a 5th grader, haha). Thankfully, I know what my role is in the lives of these little people. My call is to introduce them to the love of Christ that lives in me. I know I won't be remembered -- my smell, my voice, my face will surely be forgotten. But the love of Christ that they meet in me will remain in their hearts forever. Then one day, maybe in Sunday School when they are five or when they are 50 and sitting on a bus, they will hear about the love of Christ and something inside them will rise up and say, "I've known this love before". 

I pray that the Father Himself will strengthen and encourage you to better love those He has placed in your life. The hard ones, the ugly ones, the sweet ones, the bitter ones, the snotty ones, the ones who will leave you, the ones who stay a bit too long, the ones reclining by your side and the ones sitting on the other side of the world. To even love the one He loves that stares back at you from your bathroom mirror. As your heart learns to better love may you also be better able to receive the love that has been yours all along. The love of God demonstrated to you on the Cross of Jesus Christ. There has never been a day when you have been unloved. May not one day pass any of us where we have not actively chosen to love those God has given to us. 

Love y'all so!!! - Nicole and all the babies at El Roi

p.s. this is my favorite poem that I put in each of the scrapbooks I make for my babies. And it seems perfect to share today:

Like a Chapter Waiting To Be Written

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2020! I know it’s kind of a late greeting but I feel like I have only really entered 2020 this past week. I had the privilege of being in the US for Christmas and New Years and only got back to South Africa last week. I am finishing my first week back in the office and feel like I am almost adjusted back on this time zone. 

I feel like I crawled into this new year on bloodied hands and knees (2019 kicked my butt on many levels) but after a few weeks of being home with family and friends recounting all the hard, good, gory and glorious parts of 2019 I feel refreshed and thankful for my time away. Thank you for everyone who made allowances for me and showered me with grace, love and kindness during my time in the US. Thank you for letting me invade your lives for a few weeks and giving me space to rest, share and recover amid the ebb and flow your regular lives, schedules and routines. I am still learning how to do this missionary thing in a way that makes me feel like I am being the friend, sister and daughter God has called me to be. Thank you for forgiving my missteps and being gracious with me in my weaknesses. For those of you who I missed this time around I look forward to catching you the next time I am in town! 

It would take thousands of words to recount all the goodness that God gifted with me while I was Stateside. I loved being with my precious family and am praising God for the journey of learning to know and love my siblings as adults and getting to step in as “Auntie Colie” with my nieces and nephews. I adore my parents and every day I get to chill in the oasis of a home they have created in Modesto is a blessing and joy. I got to reconnect with sweet friends in face-to-face conversations over cups of coffee and with the gift of video chat technology. I got to fly to Wisconsin and spend time loving on and living life with sweet Jaren and his family. Talk about more than I could ever ask or imagine!!! I spent time with my sister Ashlee and our fun friends exploring Austin and all the family fun to found over good drinks and food. I got to know the small group that have “adopted” me as one of VBC’s global mission partners. I had the honor of sharing life and ministry at both of VBC’s campuses. I got to sing with my brother, Daniel. I drank lots of coffee. I ate at In-n-Out. I replenished supplies via Amazon. I wandered through Target. I visited the Pacific Ocean. I slept on all kinds of beds. I had a wonderful time and am thrilled to be back in South Africa. 

Trips to my California home have this unique ability to be too long and too short all at once. I love being there but miss the babies but when I am in South Africa loving on my babies, I miss being in California. Having more than one “home base” can feel like there is a dichotomy in my life that is so utterly complex and painful to look at too closely or too often. To always be missing people I love dearly, no matter where I find myself in the world. But maybe that’s the key – eternity has been hidden in my heart. I was not created for the impermanent reality called life on earth. Through belief in Christ and His sacrifice on the cross I have been adopted into God’s eternal family. My life is hidden with Christ in God and He is my life. Heaven is my home. All this loving, living, serving and giving on earth is bonus – even if it is complicated because my “home bases” are on different continents. My prayer is that I will continue to do what Paul instructs us to do in Colossians 3 -- to set my mind of things above where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God remembering that my life is hidden with Christ in God and that one day when Christ, who is my life appears that I will also appear with Him in glory. 

Thank you for your continued love and support of my hopeful adventure here in South Africa. Remember to like our El Roi Baby Home FB Page or follow me on Instagram for more peeks into what God is doing in this corner of the world. 

Lord willing, I will be seeing you more in this space this year! 

Lots of love and joy from Nicole and her babies at El Roi