i hate goodbyes...

If you happened to read my last blog you know that I currently have a baby boy in hospital. Thankfully he is doing fabulously and is set to be released on Friday! Our baby shares a room with 5 other babies and his next door bed mate was a very sick little girl named Tina who was seemingly abandoned. All the time that our baby has been in hospital she has been all alone. On Monday we inquired with the hospital's social work department and expressed our desire to claim her as our own if she was truly abandoned. The social worker on duty didn't know if she would be available for adoption but gave us permission to tend to her as we saw fit.

So on Monday afternoon when I came to visit our boy I also brought our new girl a few blankets, hats and a few items of clothing to keep her warm. After I spent some time with my boy I went to hold my sick girl for the first time. She was attached to a feeding tube, IV and oxygen mask wrapped in just a few dingy hospital sheets and naked except for her tiny, cheap nappy. The clothes I brought were too big for her frail little body but I put her in her pretty new pink hat and wrapped her snugly in her yellow star and pink blankets. I held her close and whispered to her plenty of the truths that I knew about her: That she was wonderfully and fearfully made. That she was meant for amazing things. That she was loved and wanted and that she belonged. She opened her little dark eyes framed by gorgeous, thick lashes and starred at me for the briefest of moments before slipping back to sleep. I laid her back in bed and then Auntie Ingrid and I prayed for her healing and that the Lord would allow her to be our baby girl. And then we said our goodbyes and I headed home.

I had an early morning on Tuesday taking one of my Starfish to a surgery consultation appointment at the hospital. Thankfully we only waited for 3 hours or so until the Doctor came, checked him out and sent us on our way. I was in line waiting to check out when Ingrid texted me from the hospital writing, "Hi Aunty. I just want to let u know that baby Tina pass away". I stood there with one of my sweet boys in my arms and cried. The Lord had answered our prayers and healed our little girl by taking her home. Sadly, she was alone in death as she was alone in her brief life but I take comfort in know that unseen arms held her as she was ushered into the presence of our God and King. I am thankful that I had the privilege of holding her and loving on her before she went home.

Thank you to those of you who prayed for her and for those of you who are praying for my baby "J". I trust all of my babies to my Father and I trust Him and His decision to take Tina home even though it's been a hard goodbye for me... even though it's just a goodbye for now. I look forward to the day on the other side of eternity when I'll get to meet Tina healed and whole. It's going to be a wonderful hello to be sure!

Sick baby girl